— 21st February 2003
A man walks into a sports shop. He’s a large man and (what we might like to call) portly. He’s old too with a fairly long grey beard and so his over all appearance could be said to be something like Santa. Although a down at heel Santa wearing rather a badly chosen ensemble and with bicycle clips clutching at his ankles. He’s wearing glasses which is noticeable because Santa rarely does (except in those occasional behind the scenes bits you sometimes see in bad American Christmas movies, where they’ve got him wandering around ordering elves about and carrying a clipboard like some freakishly jolly line manager). A shop assistant walks briskly over to him.
- Can I help you sir?- I’d like to buy a bag.- What kind of bag?- Just a bag I don’t care really.
The assistant looks fairly disgruntled and glances over his shoulder at the colossal wall full of shelves full of bags behind him.
- When are you going to use it mostly? What sports do you do?- I cycle ... at night
The assistant thinks for a second and then remembers a bag he was looking at this morning. The one with all the strange reflective patches on it. He’d wondered to himself; who on earth would want a sports bag with lots of little reflective patches on it, and now in walks this man, the very same day. Turning to the man he says:
- I think I’ve got the perfect bag for you sir!