Just Hammer

Why aren’t you hammering that nail into this wall? You seem busy, and I know you’re as committed to hanging that painting as anyone, but you don’t look like you’re hammering the nail. We hired you to hammer the nail. Please, just hammer the nail.

It’s a stone wall, and this nail won’t go in. If I keep just mindlessly hammering, I think probably the nail will break. What’s needed here is a drill. We can drill a hole, stick a rawl-plug in and use a screw, and I think it’s the best way to get the painting hung.

Drill? Rawl plugs? Screw? Do you have those things?

Not entirely. I’ve found a screw, and we can fashion a rawl plug out of some of that plastic over there, but no, there’s no drill.

Without a drill, this is pointless. Can you go back to hammering, please?

I think I can make a drill. It’ll take some time, and without a motor, it’ll be hand-powered, so the drilling will be laborious, but it is possible, and I think it’s really the only way. This wall is stone.

Hmmm... I see what you mean, but we hired you to hammer a nail. It just looks funny to people that we have a hammerer who isn’t hammering. Couldn’t you just go back to hammering? It would really make things easier. Are you sure you’ve really tried hard enough? I know hammering can be monotonous, but really, I’ve seen some fantastic breakthroughs achieved that way.

I feel it would be better to make this drill and try and get drilling as soon as possible. I feel like we’ll get the painting hung sooner that way in the long term.

OK, look, I’ve got to make an executive decision here. You’ve made a good case, you’ve explained yourself, no one thinks badly of you, but from now on, I just want you to keep hammering. I’m going to take what you’ve said back up the chain of command, and we’re going to consider it. There’s a strategy in place you see (from your perspective, maybe it’s not as clear), but trust me. We’re committed to hammering here, and right now, it’s really best for all concerned for you to be hammering.

OK, I’ll hammer. Would you object to me making the drill in my spare time, though? I feel like it’s going to be psychologically better for me to be allowed to pursue this drilling thing rather than continue to do something that I honestly don’t believe is going to work.

No, I’m sorry, there’s no way. Even if you create the drill in your spare time, you’d still have to come back and drill the wall. I need there to be a hammerer here hammering. It’s what we’ve committed to, I’ve told my boss, and she’s told hers. Please, I’d really like you to hammer.

What if the painting doesn’t get hung ever? Surely that doesn’t look good.

It looks a darn sight better than you sat here not hammering. Look around you. Look at Dave, look at Sindhu, look at Francis; they’re all hammering.

Their walls are plasterboard!

Look, just hammer. Don’t argue. Don’t discuss. For God’s sake, don’t think. Just hammer.