— 14th January 2003
I’m having one of those times at the moment. Where I just don’t know what I want to do (I suppose with other things too - but mainly with the website). Usually I don’t have much time to do more drawings and make big changes and it’s as much as I can do to write a few blog entries and keep up the “one-per-week” but at the same time I’ve usually got a list as long as your arms (yes both of ’em) of things I want to change and do and make better and re-write from scratch in such a way as it takes 5 hours and makes not a blind bit of difference to anything.
But just recently I’ve not really been able to think of anything. I’ve not really been inspired. It’s not like I’m satisfied or anything, I’m far from happy with many bits and pieces around the site but it’s although my usual avenues of activity for such problems have been trod so many times now I don’t know if I can be bothered doing it again. Usually I’m driven by some deluded idea that "if I could just make that change, if I could just add that thing, then everything will suddenly be great". Right now I haven’t a thing in my head which I think is going to make a bit of differernce at all.
So I’m doing a painting at the moment instead. You can’t see it on this website ... or any other. I’m mostly using household emulsion (bought in those handy little tester pots from Focus) and a bit of acrylic. It’s a mixture of freehanded, maskingtaped and dribbled lines and I’m thinking of putting a layer of clear varnish over the top (I like my paintings shiny). Anyway I just thought I’d say.